It's different walking around with Erin, my site mate. By myself, I can almost feel invisible when I want to be. With an American female walking with me, not so much. Anyone that sees her takes an extra long look. The stares are suffocating.
But for her last night as a volunteer in town I feel likes it's important for her to get out. She shouldn't spend her final hours in the apartment. I want to show her that we can go out and enjoy a pleasant evening despite the attention she draws. We'll go to a nice cafe by the garden and relax with the sunset. I know she must be annoyed by the hassle of walking around, but being outside is worth it if only for the sake of leaving the apartment.
So we get a table on the sidewalk next to the garden. We work on a crossword puzzle and chat about Erin's imminent transition. She is about to head back to America now that she has completed her two years of service. Such life changes conjure a wide range of intense emotions. There is a lot on her mind. The sun sets and we embrace the chill of the Autumn night. Summer was hot.
From the darkness of the garden somebody requires our attention. The man is asking me for a cigarette or a dirham (2 dirhams = an American quarter). I shake my head and ignore him.
How will Erin describe her experience to her friends back home? Most volunteers will tell you that Peace Corps is an incredibly powerful experience; an important step to understanding how to lead a fulfilling existence. Most Peace Corps volunteers will also tell you that the experience comes with frustration as cultural barriers generate a sense of isolation. Few volunteers extend service beyond the standard two year commitment. Erin is not one of them. Soon she will be absorbed back into her culture; expressing herself freely without fear of judgement or harassment. She appreciates the Peace Corps experience, but is ready to move on.
The man emerges from his dark corner and approaches our table. His eyes are slightly glazed over and he mumbles as he speaks. I wonder if he's been huffing glue, not uncommon in the town. Erin asks to know what he wants.
"Give me a dirham," he says.
Erin tells him to go away. He remains. Again, we tell him to leave us alone. He stands near our table with a drunk smirk on his face. We try ignoring him. But, he continues to be entertained. I've seen such an expression in Morocco before. I hardly ever receive it, but I've seen it directed as my Asian American friends, at my African American friends, and at my female friends. It's a leer of racist/sexist amusement, and it is incredibly disturbing.
Soon, Erin cannot support his presence. She threatens to go to the police and he remains unfazed. She gets up and walks to the police station, which happens to be nearby. I'm not sure if she is bluffing or not. The man continues to enjoy the show he's created as Erin storms off. I remain at the table. The man is less interested now that Erin has left, but doesn't leave. He waits for her to come back. A few minutes pass and she returns without police aid.
I follow her lead and we take our coffees to a table near the entrance, where other customers are gathered on the well lit terrace. I'm shocked that the man follows. He finds a way to remain hidden and glower over our table at the same time. He's relentless. We tell him again to leave us alone. He remains at our side and unnoticed by the rest of the costumers. I feel frozen, not sure how to get rid of him. I wanted Erin to enjoy a pleasant evening. She is the only female at the cafe and is getting harassed by the man in the shadows. I wanted her to feel safe and I'm failing.
Erin steps up. She goes inside the cafe to find someone to help us. As she gets up a five dirham coin drops to ground under the table. She walks inside and the man makes a move. I grab Erin's bag unsure what the man might do. He takes the coin on the ground and runs off. I yell and make a lame effort to chase after. I can't believe what just happened.
"Did you guys see that. The thief, he stole five dirhams." The men around laugh. It's only five dirhams. Nobody consoles. I just got owned by a glue-huffer and feel pathetic. At no point during the entire ordeal did I step up to demand respect and now our dignity has been trampled.
Two employees then come out with Erin, trying to figure out what the problem is. It's too late though. The man got his amusement and then got some money. He's gone and the pleasant evening has completely blown up. Everyone stares at us whispering what I imagine are negative comments. We want to get back to the protection of the apartment. I pay the waitress, the only other female at the establishment. She provides an apologetic look, and Erin's final excursion is over. It's time for her to go to America.
But for her last night as a volunteer in town I feel likes it's important for her to get out. She shouldn't spend her final hours in the apartment. I want to show her that we can go out and enjoy a pleasant evening despite the attention she draws. We'll go to a nice cafe by the garden and relax with the sunset. I know she must be annoyed by the hassle of walking around, but being outside is worth it if only for the sake of leaving the apartment.
So we get a table on the sidewalk next to the garden. We work on a crossword puzzle and chat about Erin's imminent transition. She is about to head back to America now that she has completed her two years of service. Such life changes conjure a wide range of intense emotions. There is a lot on her mind. The sun sets and we embrace the chill of the Autumn night. Summer was hot.
From the darkness of the garden somebody requires our attention. The man is asking me for a cigarette or a dirham (2 dirhams = an American quarter). I shake my head and ignore him.
How will Erin describe her experience to her friends back home? Most volunteers will tell you that Peace Corps is an incredibly powerful experience; an important step to understanding how to lead a fulfilling existence. Most Peace Corps volunteers will also tell you that the experience comes with frustration as cultural barriers generate a sense of isolation. Few volunteers extend service beyond the standard two year commitment. Erin is not one of them. Soon she will be absorbed back into her culture; expressing herself freely without fear of judgement or harassment. She appreciates the Peace Corps experience, but is ready to move on.
The man emerges from his dark corner and approaches our table. His eyes are slightly glazed over and he mumbles as he speaks. I wonder if he's been huffing glue, not uncommon in the town. Erin asks to know what he wants.
"Give me a dirham," he says.
Erin tells him to go away. He remains. Again, we tell him to leave us alone. He stands near our table with a drunk smirk on his face. We try ignoring him. But, he continues to be entertained. I've seen such an expression in Morocco before. I hardly ever receive it, but I've seen it directed as my Asian American friends, at my African American friends, and at my female friends. It's a leer of racist/sexist amusement, and it is incredibly disturbing.
Soon, Erin cannot support his presence. She threatens to go to the police and he remains unfazed. She gets up and walks to the police station, which happens to be nearby. I'm not sure if she is bluffing or not. The man continues to enjoy the show he's created as Erin storms off. I remain at the table. The man is less interested now that Erin has left, but doesn't leave. He waits for her to come back. A few minutes pass and she returns without police aid.
I follow her lead and we take our coffees to a table near the entrance, where other customers are gathered on the well lit terrace. I'm shocked that the man follows. He finds a way to remain hidden and glower over our table at the same time. He's relentless. We tell him again to leave us alone. He remains at our side and unnoticed by the rest of the costumers. I feel frozen, not sure how to get rid of him. I wanted Erin to enjoy a pleasant evening. She is the only female at the cafe and is getting harassed by the man in the shadows. I wanted her to feel safe and I'm failing.
Erin steps up. She goes inside the cafe to find someone to help us. As she gets up a five dirham coin drops to ground under the table. She walks inside and the man makes a move. I grab Erin's bag unsure what the man might do. He takes the coin on the ground and runs off. I yell and make a lame effort to chase after. I can't believe what just happened.
"Did you guys see that. The thief, he stole five dirhams." The men around laugh. It's only five dirhams. Nobody consoles. I just got owned by a glue-huffer and feel pathetic. At no point during the entire ordeal did I step up to demand respect and now our dignity has been trampled.
Two employees then come out with Erin, trying to figure out what the problem is. It's too late though. The man got his amusement and then got some money. He's gone and the pleasant evening has completely blown up. Everyone stares at us whispering what I imagine are negative comments. We want to get back to the protection of the apartment. I pay the waitress, the only other female at the establishment. She provides an apologetic look, and Erin's final excursion is over. It's time for her to go to America.
