Morocco is an incredible mix of
modernity and tradition. The population is able to explore the
excitement of 21st century culture without letting go of
conservative values. Rihanna can be juxtaposed with ancient Berber
music. Fancy cars drive past donkey carts. Generally, the two
attitudes co-exist with no problem, but sometimes they clash, such as
the case with dating. The dating game in Morocco is changing
rapidly, and its traditional version does not get along with its
modern version. Conservative habits clash with modern temptations,
leading Moroccans to date in an unusual fashion.
Dating as a strategy for finding a mate
is likely a recent phenomenon. Only economically stable individuals
can really afford to spend time courting or wooing a partner.
Traditionally, humans did not have the time to seek out a soul mate,
and settled for an economically convenient arrangement. This often
meant learning how to love one of the few available options. Today a
lot of the world has the luxury to try out multiple partners and
discover the right chemistry. The advantage is that we can explore
personalities and get to know ourselves better, setting ourselves up
for a mutually encouraging relationship. The disadvantage is that
most humans now expect to be able to find love instead of working
towards creating love. Damn, isn't love a bitch?
Morocco is not far removed from
traditional arrangements. A couple generations ago dating was rare
in Morocco and marriages were not based on passion. I guess they
were mostly based on economics and religion. The Moroccan youth of
today are different. They seem to expect love to strike their
hearts, and spend a lot of energy wondering “does s/he like me
back.” With my younger friends, conversation almost always
revolves around girls.
Creating opportunities for finding a
partner is the hard part. Since Morocco is still very much dedicated
to its traditional habits, there is little overlap between men's
space and women's space. Men hang out in the streets or at cafes
while the women spend their social hours at the home. Most young
couples I know met in high school, where boys and girls share the
classroom. The only other obvious place would be on the street,
where young Moroccan men will post up on a corner to flatter (or
harass) girls walking by.
The other obstacle causing friction on
the Moroccan dating scene would be parental disapproval of daughters
mingling with boys. Traditional reaction would be quick to label a
girl as promiscuous for spending too much time with a boy before
marriage. This complicates things for girls, as there seems to be a
desire to fall in love, yet little opportunity for the falling in
love process to take place. The result is an under the radar kind
of dating. One that involves cell phone calls, texting, Facebook,
and secret walks into the country side.
In the end, it really isn't too
different from American dating culture I guess. Pretty much no
matter the culture, dating and marriage and being in love are
complicated matters. I think Morocco is still a little tangled
between traditional arrangements and open dating, but in a way
America kind of is too. Actually, I think everything I said about
Moroccan dating can apply to America too (or maybe the America of a
few decades ago). Hmm... this is one of those topics where I only
confused myself more by trying to blog about it. This is the worst ending ever. No conclusion. Just read the last
sentence of the second paragraph again.
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